To do the Etude process properly you need to start with –a sketch– because the draft sketch is where all the problems should be fixed. This stage is already way beyond a sketch, this is cleaner lineart than I see most people pull off, HAHA. It’s hard to modify or re-do a drawing of this refinement, you’ve already confined yourself in terms of modification.
Apart from trivial errors like the lines on the window sill and slight warp on the door lamp and asymmetry on the table helix there isn’t much to note.
The biggest issue on this drawing is composition. Everything is placed in neutral positions and it makes the picture boring.
- Table+Girl is in the middle of the picture.
- Global perspective horizon is at the eyeline of the girl.
- Horizon is also at the centre of the picture.
Placing the horizon in the centre of the picture almost always results in a really boring picture. It’s the same reason why neutral shading shadows looks so boring, it’s because there is nothing vibrant about it. Also because it is in the centre it gives an unwanted side-effect of perceiving the picture as if it were being looked at through a (fishbowl) lens due to isotropic warping emanating from the centre point.
When placing the horizon, shifting it off centre almost always results in a better and more interesting picture. For example in the thumbnails below the pink horizon line is very low meaning we are looking upwards towards the girl. (Note that I’ve omitted the 3rd perspective point vertically, adding this would make this image even more dynamic.) The angle at which the girl is looking at the ‘camera’ also affects your perception of ’emotion’. Looking down towards the viewer conveys an aura of confidence, whereas looking up feels like ‘onedari’ or vulnerability.
The girl is also shifted towards the right sectors of the 1/3 split (Rule of Thirds). I’ve also included a BG reflection on the window that is slightly transparent with an opacity gradient towards the bottom right. This allows us to also see inside the shop. This reflection opacity value is determined by the relative reflection/transmission of light. i.e. a dark interior = higher reflection opacity due to lack of transmission of light from inside the room.
Personally I would choose the composition on the left instead of the right (topdown) one. The right one looks boring and featureless, and also there is a lack of contrast. What I mean by that is the one on the left will also show the underside of the table, and that will have a dark shadow. This is in contrast with objects around it which gives the overall values over the picture more variety.